All my children are lovely and I would like to think that I have something to do with that, but in my head I know that I was just lucky. They are just genetically amazing, they listen, they are helpful, they are cooperative, they play nicely, they share.
When other people are around.
When those ‘other people’ leave. BAM! All hell breaks loose. The shit hits the fan. WW-whatever explodes in to our house like a tsunami of screams, shrieks and tantrums.
Let me make it clear. Not all the time. Because my god, if it was all the time, I would not be able to write this blog, yet alone function as a human.
It would seem that recently though my 9 year old has the most innate ability to drive me absolutely insane. I am an advocate of Gentle Parenting, I don’t hit the children, I don’t throw my weight around. I let them explore and discover the world, make mistakes and learn from them, however, with my 9 year old this has gone epically wrong.
I am currently getting a daily dose of ‘you can’t make me’, ‘you are not the boss of me’, ‘you don’t get to tell me what to do’ and the best of late is, ‘you make decisions for you and I make decisions for me. With my own mind!’
I don’t really know how to respond to these pre-adolescent outbursts… mainly because I am so utterly unprepared for them coming from my 9 year old!
Put into perspective my 11 year old doesn’t do anything even remotely similar to this.
Have I missed something? Is 9 the new 15?
So this evening we are currently on hour 4 of concussion watch with my 6 month old. Why?
Well, because my 9 year old decided to dance above her little body as she lay on the floor watching and giggling. Now this is all fine and good, accidents happen and I am not cross with my 9 year old at all for the incident. I’m cross with the fact that these moments seem to happen every time I decide to go to the toilet and I’m cross for what happened after the event.
Baby screams – I run in. Keeping totally cool and calm…
‘What’s happened?’ grab baby, pick up, start to look for injury.
‘Something’ says 9 year old.
Penny drops…. baby screaming uncontrollably, bruise begins to emerge on her forehead.
Cue mum losing the plot.
‘What did you do?’
I am not proud of the fact that I wanted to use more prolific language, letting it slip out like road rage moments. Moment of deep breathing mindfulness exercises followed for several minutes.
‘Sorry, I meant, what has happened? Why is the baby screaming?’
9 year old has a thinking face. It is always bad when 9 year old pulls this face.
‘I tripped and fell on the baby’s… (loooooonnnng pauuuuseeee combined with thinking face = big problems lie ahead) foot.’
‘Her foot? Are you sure? She doesn’t seem to be in pain from her foot? She seems to be developing a rather huge bruise on her head. Are you sure?’
I perhaps shot my 9 year old a look, because something broke at this point and 9 year old begins to sob and splutter. A confession of sorts comes out. She had been dancing over the baby. She had tripped and landed hand first onto the baby’s forehead.
It took several attempts to get the full extent of the story out of the 9 year old who was at this point hyperventilating because she realised that she was now in an immense amount of trouble. Not because of the event, I reiterate, I would never be mad at the children for an accident, but for the lie.
I would also like to add, she is also in a lot of trouble for creating an event that led to me saying these words:
‘I am not angry about the accident, I am angry because you lied’
A classic along the lines of:
‘Don’t make me come up there’
‘Do I really have to ask you twice’
‘You need to eat at least a bite of everything on your plate’
‘look with your eyes’
and that all time classic parenting retort
‘Because I said so’
After a prolonged conversation with 111 we are now on baby concussion watch. Which would be enough for most 9 year olds in one day, except for mine.
She did redeem herself, she helped bathe her 3 year old sister, took her to bed, read her a story and then… just as said 3nager was settling in bed… screamed her head off because there was a daddy long legs in the room, thus creating a 9 year old/3 year old tag team of hell which has only just ended. It’s currently 10pm. 10pm!!
Once all was settled and 3 year old was calmed, 9 year old was sent to bed.
Did she go. No.
‘You don’t get to tell me when I go to bed’
Don’t worry. She 
is still alive. JUST!
meanderingsofalostbutfoundsoul 